Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Last night I was discouraged. Our boys have started middle school, and our oldest (who has a form of autism) is having to ramp up to a new level of expectations. He's going about it with a really sweet attitude and we are pleased with the team working with him. But reality is reality. And so, as I said to my husband, "I'm just so sad." Sad that he is like a little boy in an almost teenage body. Sad that it seems no matter how far he comes, the gap between him and what's expected continues to grow wider. Sad that his talents and intelligence so often fall prey to his limitations and challenges. Sometimes it all makes me very sad.
Later in the evening, the middle two went off to karate with their dad, so it was just me and the "bookends". We sat out on the back deck together, where my son was doing some really cool bubble tricks. That's when I smiled. Actually I chuckled to myself, because a few years back he couldn't blow bubbles. He literally couldn't blow a bubble or blow out a candle or sip through a straw, because of low tone in his face and lips. Meanwhile, all the other kids were blowing and sipping up a storm. I remember what a big deal it was, how it felt fretting, "Will he ever sip through a straw? Will he blow out a candle without spitting on everyone? Will he finally be able to simply blow bubbles like "normal" kids do?" Of course he's been blowing bubbles for years now, but I do well to take notice and remember to rejoice.
I don't know how all that's ahead of us is going to go. I don't know if or when or how so many things are going to fall into place for him. But I do know this. He can blow a mean bubble! And that makes me smile.