pondering being heard and saying ... you're welcome

As a writer who doesn't share research or "how to" information or recipes ... but one who basically sits at the keyboard and "bleeds" (isn't that what Buechner called it?) I am breathing a sigh of relief today.  Because the only thing more risky than sharing your own personal thoughts and experiences, is sharing someone else's.  So, even though Landon had put his words "out there" for the world to read, as all bloggers do, there was still a sense of having invaded someone's privacy when I pointed back to him, as I did in yesterday's post.

So you  might be interested to know that Landon has written a lovely, brief follow up, here.  Which has left me humbled, honestly, but also grateful because not only did I "hear" him, he "heard" me - he understood my intention perfectly.

It was a risky thing to write.  It was a risky thing to share. But I have a new "ally", and he gives me much to ponder.

pondering how we teach our children to hate themselves

April is supposed to be autism awareness month.  So, I wanted to write something about how thirteen years as the mother of a son with autism has changed me.  About how that change is at the root of my most recent passion and protest.  I keep trying, but the thoughts aren't coming together.

What I want to say has to do with expectations and shame...

with love and confusion ...

with God-making-people-a-certain-way-then-calling-that-wrong-and-what-the-hell-is-up-with-that-anyway? ...

with growth and realization and acceptance and beauty ...

I wanted to write about all that.  I still do. I'm trying.

ugh...

But today I found this. I don't know much about Landon - this is the first thing I've read from him. But he nails it. He nails it so clearly that it hurts my heart to read it.

We talk so much about bullying, but the worst bully of all is self.  And hate of self is learned.  The author jolts us awake to that fact with this plea,

"Damn it, you have to stop teaching your kids to hate themselves.

Because it kills them."

Please - read, and ponder with me.
Let's change things.

pondering hellbound

oh, this looks to be good. and I haven't had a good hell debate in a while. :)  looking forward to it!

   

  

pondering spirit songs

My spirit responds to music. It's the language of my soul. I know some who respond to art, nature, beauty - all those things move me, as well.  But not like music. I need music like I need air.  And so God is good to speak to me through it.

For a long time now, not just lent - longer than that - this song has been in my heart, been my prayer.  When I've done all my wrestling, "I don't wanna lose You in the end".



Then today, I heard this (below) play on Pandora while doing laundry - after a DIVINE Sunday afternoon nap, by the way - and I realized, while listening... this is where I am now.  I mean, life ebbs and flows, but I'm in a new place.   This song rings more true for me now.

And I'm thankful.



This morning - Easter, yes, Easter! - but 100 little tiny things about it that would bore you for me to share, have capped some things for me.  Settled some things.  Big things.  And it feels good.

At least ... for today.  ;)

But I'll take that.  Because someone I Love taught me that tomorrow will worry about itself.  Today, I sing this:

I'm falling even more in love with You
Letting go of all I've held onto
I'm standing here until You make me new
I'm hanging by a moment here with You 

pondering Easter hope

Are Veggie Tales cheesy?  Of course they are.  But I still love this...

I confess, when she sings out,

"There is nothing left to fear!" 

I get goosebumps all over, and my eyes well up.

Every. Time.



Happy Easter. He is risen. He is risen, indeed!

pondering love on good friday

Love 
I made it mine
I made it small, I made it blind
I followed hard, only to find
It wasn't love
It wasn't love

Love of songs and pen
Oh love of movie endings
Takes out the break
Leaves out the bend
Misses love

Love not of you
Love not of me
Come hold us up
Come set us free
Not as we know it
But as it can be

Love's reality
Is not a passing bravery
It holds out hope beyond what's seen
The hope of love

Love not of you
Love not of me
Come hold us up
Come set us free
Not as we know it
But as it can be
~Sara Groves, Fireflies and Songs

pondering awareness and action

Today's post is brought courtesy of my friend Dr. Beth Ackerman. She would not say this about herself, but what I would say about her is that she is a prophet of sorts.  She is calling on those who work in churches and private Christian schools to move beyond awareness toward ACTION.  Consider her words, as April is Autism Awareness Month and today, specifically, is World Autism Awareness Day.

Autism Awareness (Action?) Month
Awareness just doesn’t seem enough these days.  It doesn’t imply action. If you want to know about the rise of autism, how many families are affected, etc.  That is awareness.  As Christians, I’m more concerned about action.  We need an Autism Action month.  :)Here’s one of many stories in my life where God pushed me to action.  I was new to Liberty University and some students helped me start a Liberty Chapter of Council for Exceptional Children.  And we decided to have a carnival type event for children with disabilities and their families.  It was at this event where I’ll never forget a Mom who told me that she’s so thankful that she can watch church on TV because she can’t take her son with Autism to church.  I remember in my typical arrogance thinking and saying - “WHAT?!?!”…. She went on to tell me that their church didn’t know what to do with his grunting sounds, hand flapping and pacing.  And I looked at the sweet boy and his Mom and thought to myself again… “WHAT!?!?!”  Well, in one of my many life’s strange events… the director of Thomas Road Baptist Church called me THAT week and asked to speak with me about a partnership between our Liberty students and TRBC for families of children with disabilities to have support at church.  I could go on and on with the need for this - with 95 % of marriages ending in divorce when there is a child with a disability… what an amazing outreach for churches to wrap God’s love and care around these families. Where can you have action?   Perhaps it doesn’t need to be grand… perhaps it is finding a family of a child with a disability and offering to babysit so they can have a date night… or perhaps even smaller… when we see a child with a disability at a restaurant who is grunting and flapping their hands or acting in way we don’t understand… we don’t look at the parents irritated for bringing their kid out to dinner… knowing it is hard to find help for a child with a disability... this is where awareness leads to action.  What are we reflecting as Christians?  How are we ACTING as Christians?  I do pray it is more than awareness for us.   For more ideas or thoughts on this, please see my archived blogs on “THE Message”.Toy, the director of Children’s Ministry at TRBC, called her ministry for children with disabilities “ikids” – as these kids are “made in the Image of God”… now that is an awareness that should move us to action.

She also has a three part series that she calls "THE Message".  I encourage ANYONE working in church or para-church ministries to children and families and/or in private Christian institutions to read and consider.  


Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

Throughout the month of April, I plan to write more about Autism ... and how it changed me.  How it framed how I see people and how (I've come to understand) it fuels my passion for justice today.

For now, though, Dr. Ackerman has given us much to ponder...